Pummel Fear – Win Big!!

There’s good fear. It’s what keeps us safe and away from real danger. There’s bad fear. It’s what keeps us from moving ahead with our lives, discovering new things, enjoying fresh experiences and growing.

photo by:Levi Guzman

What can we do about this bad fear? There are some simple things you can do to conquer fear in your life. But first, some important realities to consider.

What Fear Does

Whenever, I contemplate a problem, I like to consider first the results. What does fear do to you? There are at least four results to consider.

• You cannot think clearly. Fear clouds your perceptions and your judgments. You easily imagine threats that are not there.
• Because you cannot think clearly, it is also hard to make rational decisions. All our decisions are informed by our emotions and experiences but at the heart of every decision is a rational process. Fear perverts that process.
• More obviously, it keeps you from taking risks. Not all risks are created equal but taking risks is essential to growth. A child takes a risk the first time they try to take a step. There’s risk in starting school, going to college, taking on a new job. While these risks are minor, there is still a chance of failure. That is the risk. And the greatest accomplishments are achieved in the face of the greatest risks.
• Finally, it keeps you from moving forward. When you are afraid, you won’t take the next step. When moving forward requires venturing into uncharted territory, fear wants you to stay safe.

Where Fear Comes From

Why are we afraid? Here are seven things that might be feeding your fear.

Past failure. If you have tried and failed, it may make you afraid to try again. This is true with relationships, risky ventures or any change. You tried something new and it didn’t turn out like you hoped it would, so you are afraid to try again.

Negative voices. These voices have many sources. Sometimes you are the one speaking negative words, sometimes it is someone you love and trust. The voices might be even be from the distant past. Those voices tell you to be careful, play it safe, stay in your comfort zone, it’s not worth the risk.

The unknown. There is a universal fear of the unknown. What will happen if…?

Your own actions and reactions. Fear of making a mistake, or saying or doing the wrong thing, of embarrassing yourself. Many of these types of fears come from poor self-confidence or a negative self-worth.

Past loss. Sometimes a profound loss can fuel a profound fear. When a past failure become a major loss, you may never try that particular thing again even though it might be of great benefit.

Pain. Simple pain can make you afraid. When you are hurting, you will do almost anything to avoid something that might cause still more pain.

Rejection. When you are rejected by anyone you respect, by your peers, family members and friends, fear can take over.

Six Things to do to Pummel Fear

Fear does not have to rule your life. It is a cruel master but you can overcome it!

1. Get on the right side. When Joshua was commissioned and led the people across the Jordan, one statement was repeated: do not be afraid. Then he saw an angel of the Lord. Joshua asked him if he was on his side. The angel said no. He was on the side of the Lord. When you are on the side of the Lord, you have an angel army assisting you! Get on the side of the Lord!
2. Pray. It’s okay to be desperately afraid and to pray desperately for the fear to be conquered. We were not created to live in fear, so God will answer this prayer. But you must do more than pray. Augustine said: pray as if everything depended on it and work like everything depended on it. Good advice!
3. Find friends who encourage. You need to move your negative friends to the sidelines. You need positive friends on the field of play! Find fearless people to hang around with!
4. Consider the outcomes. Really, what happens if you fail? While every situation is a little different, often the outcome of failure is only embarrassment or minor loss. You might reframe the outcome as Edison did as he tried to invent the lightbulb. He asserted that he was successful in finding a thousand ways it wouldn’t work! Then, what happens if you succeed? Will there be great achievement? Will your life get dramatically better or will you realize a dream? These are important considerations that cannot be ignored.
5. Remember past successes. Everyone has many successes. There are many times in your life when you overcame fear to succeed at something. Think about those things.
6. Then take one step. Identify one small thing you can do to overcome fear and do it. You will find that it is not so fearsome after all!

There is an incredible view from the top of a mountain. It takes a bit of a risk to get there. I’m not satisfied with the valley. I want the view. I hope you do too!

Let me know how it goes as you overcome the fear in your life. And I’ll see you win big!