Three Effective Steps to Control Anger
Are you angry? When was the last time you just ‘lost it’? Do you ever get angry at yourself for getting angry? It seems that we are getting angrier all the time!
Photo by David Clode on Unsplash
Anger destroys lives and relationships. How do we control the anger we feel when we are attacked or hurt or maligned? What do we do about the anger we witness all around us?
Jesus addressed anger in his Sermon on the Mount along with the related necessity of reconciliation. Here’s what he said.
Jesus’ Words
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.”
Matthew 5:21-26 (ESV)
One of our basic emotions is anger!
Jesus wanted to clear up many misconceptions about God’s law. He attacks another here.
Legalists of the day felt that ‘you shall not murder’ meant that you should not murder an innocent person. If you had never done that, you were not guilty of transgression!
It doesn’t take much of an imagination to tell you where you could go with that interpretation!!
The foundation of heart condition was already laid at the beginning of the sermon, so it’s not surprising that Jesus goes back to it repeatedly. Once again, he reframes the legalism of the religious into a new perspective of the follower of Jesus.
What Jesus was teaching us about anger
1. Anger is to be avoided. We must simply not be angry! That seems to be easier said than done. If anger is one of our basic emotions and the Bible tells us that even God gets angry, how can I avoid it?
2. Speech of contempt is to be avoided. Just don’t do it. If you cannot speak kindly, don’t speak at all! We don’t always have to speak our minds.
3. Insults are to be avoided. Insulting people is just mean. Don’t do it!
These things are not for followers of Jesus. The condition of our hearts should make this type of speech impossible!
Anger Management?
Jesus wanted us to do more than manage our anger, we wanted us to control our anger. How do we do it?
- Repent of an angry attitude. Ask God to forgive us and decide firmly that we will not let anger get the best of us. Ask God to help us defuse anger.
- Seek to understand. When we strive to understand rather than simply react, we begin to put our anger under control. Try to look behind those things which irritate you to find reasons they irritate and reasons you respond as you do.
- Avoid things that make you angry. Certain circumstances and events make me angry. I avoid those things as much as I can because I recognize that they present a real challenge to my self-control.
What Jesus was teaching us about relationships
Reconciliation is essential to worship. If we are reminded of an important relationship that is amiss, we need to fix that before we worship.
When we are in the wrong, we must make every effort to make the wrong right. Even if we suspect we are in the wrong, we must make every effort to make the matter right.
Reconciliation is an essential skill for followers of Jesus.
There should be no unaddressed wrongs in the church. We have serious obligations.
- To God – to be obedient.
- To each other – to keep our relationships healthy.
- To the church – to keep the poison of bitterness, anger, criticism and unforgiveness out of the body.
Your Turn
Start healing today from your anger. Take the steps outlined and trust God to help you heal.
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