I Won’t Ask for Help Even When I Need to – How About You?

If you’re like me, you don’t like to ask for help either. We want to be self-sufficient and work thing through ourselves. I want to convince you and myself that we are better off asking for help than relying on ourselves. Why do we need help? What do we need help with? Who can help us? And a bonus at the end…

Why?

There are several good reasons why we need help.

We don’t know everything. Of course, that is true but we don’t know a lot more than we care to admit. Our lives are complex and there are multiple areas we can use the help. Having all the information for all our daily decisions would save a lot of time, trouble and money.

We can’t do everything. We recently moved. As we have settled into our new home I have been besieged with things that need to be assembled. Storage shelves, outdoor furniture, cabinets and more. I hate doing it myself but I am not willing to pay someone to do it. However, there have been some things I have paid someone to do because I lack the expertise.

We can’t see. It is so obvious that we cannot see the future. Yet, we want to accurately predict how something will turn out. And while we may not know the future, we can improve our discernment in that regard with the right help.

What do we need help with?

Let me give you a list of things we need help with starting with the ones that we are most likely to ask for help and ending with the ones we are least likely to ask for help.

Health issues. We might fight it but we will give in and see a doctor when we have to. Self-diagnosis isn’t something we are good at. I have been blessed with good health so my doctor trips have been infrequent but when I had kidney stones, I knew I needed professional help!

Professional Development. There are numerous seminars, retreats and training classes for virtually every vocation. If we want to get ahead in our work, we make ourselves available to participate at these events.

Finances. We may quietly seek financial help for retirement and investment planning. We are less likely to seek help for our personal finances. I know a lot of people who have ruined their personal finances because they haven’t asked for help.

Relationships. Relationships are hard. When people interact, they bring so much baggage along. Our upbringing, experiences, education, political and spiritual perspectives impact how we relate. We want our relationships to work but when they don’t we tend to blame rather than ask for help.

Spiritual growth. We are still very much inclined to a do-it-yourself approach to spiritual growth. So we hop around from church to church seeking the best Sunday morning religion show so we can be inspired and feel good about our chances for heaven. Even when our hearts tells us we are in trouble, we try to calm our nerves and assure ourselves everything is okay.

Life decisions. We very much want to figure these things our ourselves. Job, community, marriage, children and future are all up to us. We do have to live with our decisions but wouldn’t it be easier if we had some solid guidance for these decisions that can not only effect us now but effect many others both now and into the future?

Who Can Help Us?

The first thing we can think of: experts in their fields. Whether it is finances, professional, medical or relationship experts, we can turn to them. There are plenty of teachers, coaches and mentors available to guide our development.

These experts are available at seminars, conventions, churches, school, on line and in print. Many are willing to give you individual attention.

The best one to ask for help is God. He is omniscient, meaning he knows all. God created us and knows how we think. He knows our abilities and aptitudes better than we do. He knows our potential and the best decisions to make every single time!

How?

Certainly, to get the most out of life, to minimize mistakes and maximize our potential, we need to get close to those who can help. Five suggestions:

Prayer and Bible Reading. This is available to you right now. Spending time in God’s word to learn about him and his direction for your life will begin to mold your thought processes to align with him. This is healthy spiritual growth. Prayer is our vital communication with him. He helps us with our daily decisions – important and trivial!

Spend time close to people who can help. Several years ago I was struggling with certain areas of my life. I knew of someone who could help me. While I was not personally acquainted, I called him and asked if we could meet for lunch. He said, yes. From that point on I was able to rely on his expertise as well as several others he helped me connect with!

Accumulate resources. Some of my mentors are no longer living. Fortunately, they left a wealth of written material behind to guide me. People like A.W. Tozer have had a strong positive influence on my life.

Be in the Right Place. When I can go to a convention or seminar that will help me, I go. Being open and teachable is so important. I don’t always learn a lot at these things but if I can learn something, it’s good. The right places also has a lot of the right people as well.

Application. We can learn what to do but if we never apply it to our lives, we are wasting it! Application takes a certain degree of diligence and discipline but it is worth it! Growth of wisdom and knowledge is critical to getting the most out of life!

I promised a bonus. Here it is.

How You Can Help Others

I sincerely believe that we are meant to help one another. Here are three simple guidelines to get you started in helping others.

Listen. Take the time to listen to people around you. Think about what they have said and learn how they ‘tick.’

Share your story. Sometimes your story will help them grow. Your story has ultimate credibility because it is real (as long as you don’t embellish it)!

Admit your limitations. Even if you admit them only to yourself, this will help you and others. None of us know it all. Being able to admit that is important to being able to truly help others.

So, you ready to ask for help yet? Share your thoughts in the comments or on our Facebook page.