Keys to a Happy and Good Family Life

I have witnessed much family disfunction over the years. It is frustrating and heart breaking for everyone involved.

No one wants to be part of a troubled and frustrating family. Yet, it happens all the time. In our current culture it is bound to happen more and more. What can we do about it? How can we ensure that our family relationships are happy and prosperous?

What does the Bible say about having a good family life?

A husband’s responsibilities

Love your wife

Paul addresses family life in Colossians and Ephesians. At the center of his argument is that the husband must love his wife – even to the point of imitating Christ’s love for the church! That is a high standard when we recall that Christ died for the church.

Husbands should encourage their wives and more: empower them, compliment them, listen to them, make time for them, praise them, sacrifice for them, protect them, honor them – and I could go on. But you get the picture.

Do not provoke your children

Like all of us, children can be selfish, immature, enthusiastic and stubborn. It is easy to be reactive during conflicts. However, the call here is for the husband/father to de-escalate volatile situations. We cannot expect our children to calmly respond to every circumstance or disappointment in their lives and we must work to make things better and not worse.

This calls for a sharpened sense of listening and for calm communication. Respect for your children’s perspective, no matter how wrong you think it is, is essential for us to be good fathers.

The husband’s role in making for a good family life is pivotal!

A wife’s responsibility

Submit to your husband

Whenever, I teach this, I get a loud ‘amen’ from the men in the audience at this point. It is for that reason, I wanted to address the husband’s responsibility first. When a husband truly loves his wife as I have shared, it should be easy and natural to submit to him.

There is biblical balance here. This is not a call for the wife to submit to an abusive tyrant or even to a self-centered authority. Submission is matched with a true and deep love. They go together in the biblical plan.

No husband is perfect, so wives should pray for their husbands that they meet God’s standard. This unique love/submission partnership is so important for a good family life.

The children’s responsibility

Obey your parents

Once again, we cannot take all of these things as isolated directives. They are strongly interconnected. So love/submission/obedience is a pattern for husband, wife, child to live out.

Obedience is an expression of love and respect – especially for the experience and perspective of the parent. Children and adults do not think the same way. We are all imperfect and that just adds to the potential for disagreement and conflict – things that are natural in a family.

Despite the difficulties, disagreements and conflict that are bound to happen, following the prescription so clearly laid out in God’s word will lead to a good family life.

In a nutshell:

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Colossians 3:18–21 (ESV)

Your turn

What do you need to do today in response to this? Keeping in mind that you cannot change your spouse or children or parents, there are still things you can do. You can change yourself with God’s help. You can and should pray for other family members. Your life can influence the way those closest to you, your family, live their lives.

So, go for it!