3 Keys to Overcoming Anger

Is your anger uncontrollable? I was once very angry. My anger was violent and disruptive (but, fortunately, never criminal).

My story

When I was a boy, I had a violent temper. I had fights with friends and family. I damaged property and rage took hold of me in an overwhelming way. Oddly, by nature I was a quiet, shy kid! But those moments that frustrated me, made me feel like a loser or picked on brought out the worst in me.

Recently, as I visited with my family my anger was the topic of conversation. It was then that I revealed for the first time something that changed my life.

My decision

After one of my outbursts in which my brother ran away from me to escape whatever might come his way, I paused to think about what just happened. I spent a little time reflecting on my life in general and my temper in particular. Then I made a decision that I believe changed the trajectory of my life. I made the conscious choice to eradicate my anger!

What it took

To make this change, I had to do three things.

Honest evaluation

Our tempers can frequently justify themselves and blind us to what is really happening. We focus on how we have been wronged or how unfair things are. We cling to the right to express ourselves no matter how destructive that expression might be.

For me, finally, there was something more. I reasoned that if I continued to be ruled by my anger, that it would jeopardize future relationships, job prospects, educational opportunities and more. In summary, I thought that this rage inside me would ruin my life.

Taking the time to honestly evaluate how anger affected me was crucial to the change I had to make. You can never really change unless you honestly believe you must change. I knew I must change.

Surrender

I confess that my decision to stop being angry was not totally spiritual but mostly practical. In a sense, though, I did surrender my anger – to reason and to God. I know that I prayed about it although that memory is not quite so clear.

Surrender is part of a process of admitting you are wrong and wanting to give up that which is wrong in you. Repentance, a clear and decisive change of mind, is essential to surrender.

Prayer

Since anger is an emotion that God gave us, it never really goes away. It is always there when I need or want it. So, the process and prayer continue. Prayer keeps me centered on God. Prayer helps me strive to be like Jesus, whose anger was decidedly different from mine!

What’s Next

Ever since that decision, I have grown in my self-control when it comes to expressions of anger. It means that I have decided to eliminate things from my life that might bring out that anger. These things are not bad in themselves but my involvement in them is not healthy for me.

Almost anything that is competitive is a danger spot for me. Competition can be intense; it is easy to get emotionally invested and anger loves that type of investment. I limit my intake of all things competitive and have virtually eliminated those that cause me the most angst.

Whenever we deal with any difficult situation, ongoing issue, addiction or struggle it is wise to set strict boundaries for ourselves. Staying away from those tempting or influential situations is an important step to take.

Your Turn

How are you doing in dealing with anger in your life? There is such a profound peace when you are finally freed from the grip of anger. If you are like me, I encourage you to take the steps I took and be set free! God will help you become a much better version of yourself!