Depression and Shame – 2 Surprising Truths

Depression and shame are two words which often go together. We tend to be ashamed of any type of mental illness and react differently to it than other types of illness.

What does depression feel like?

When I experience my depression it makes me completely unmotivated and dissatisfied with everything. I cannot think of a single thing that would capture my imagination and ignite my energy. It wasn’t when my life was stressful and challenging that I recognized depression, it was when everything was good and stress free! It was precisely during this season that I recognized that something was wrong!

Since that time, I have learned about how to deal with depression not just in daily practical ways but how to think about depression and shame. (It is important for you to know that I am not a health care or mental health professional, so I am simply sharing my experience and observations.)

My first reaction

Many years ago, I heard about the very high percentage of pastors who are on prescription antidepressants. I was shocked and dismayed that so many in my profession, and people of faith, should suffer something as significant as depression. How it could happen? I certainly didn’t have an answer at that point.

Slowing down

It is easy to be reactive and judgmental. And that is what often happens. But we should be careful to slow down and think about the realities surrounding depression and shame. Why is depression such a problem? We know that ongoing stress, anxiety and trauma can change the way our minds work. People who are in positions of trust often are the targets of unfounded rumors, vicious verbal attacks and unrealistic (and I might add, uncommunicated) expectations.

When these circumstances continue over long periods of time, our minds are affected. Just as excess physical activity can cause health problems, so can mental stress cause health problems.

Depression and shame

We have already made the point that depression and shame are frequently linked. However, there is no good reason for that to be the case. There are two important truths to realize about depression that completely eliminate any linkage to shame.

Truth 1 – Not a character flaw

There is a common perception that any kind of mental illness is somehow a ‘character flaw.’ We accept other kinds of physical limitations well enough, but the stigma of mental illness is pervasive and ‘sticky.’ But as we continue to more fully understand how the mind works we can truly see that mental illness in general and depression in particular is a health problem.

Truth 2 – Not a faith issue

I hear remarks that have shades of judgmentalism. These comments communicate the idea that Christians who suffer depression somehow don’t trust God enough. If we truly had faith, we would find that there is no reason to be depressed. After all, he is in control.

I totally agree that God is in control. Ultimately, he takes care of us and watches over us. However, he doesn’t control all we say and do. He does not stop people from inflicting mental trauma and pain on others. In other words, God does not arbitrarily keep us insulated from the causes of depression.

A new paradigm

When someone is afflicted with cancer or heart disease or any other major physical ailment, there is often a rallying in prayer for that one. We urge prayer and the care of health professionals and pour out encouraging words and offer extra help during their time of need.

We must remember that the brain is as much a part of the body as the heart or liver or kidneys. When an ailment strikes the brain, we should be just as encouraging, helpful, caring and prayerful. It is time to stop reacting with harsh judgment and the subtle (and not so subtle) shaming of the one suffering.

Your turn

Please, re-evaluate your attitude about those suffering from depression and other forms of mental illness. Embrace them, love them, encourage them, pray for them. Be their friend. Don’t avoid them. It is past time to forever be disabused of the idea that depression and shame belong together.