You Can Have a Perfect Marriage

Does a perfect marriage even exist?

When God created us, his design was for a man and a woman to have a perfect and lasting bond. This is God’s plan today, as well. His plan has not changed even if we have!

So how do you have a perfect marriage?

The right attitude

When Paul wrote his letters to various churches, he sometimes included counsel on marriage. In Ephesians, there is excellent guidance for us.

It all starts with the right attitude.

submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21 (ESV)

These are the final words in a long sentence but there is a principle here that is thoroughly biblical. Mutual submission helps every relationship thrive. When we have this attitude, we listen better and therefore communicate better. In marriage, communication is perhaps the most important thing.

It is then imperative that we know how to express submission within a marriage. There are three elements to this submission that will make for the perfect marriage, so keep reading to the end.

The submission of the wife

I have preached on this passage a few times over the years. Every husband in the church loves to hear these words:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22 (ESV)

It is easy to take this verse out of context. Note that the submission described here is complete and comprehensive. It is to be just like we submit to God!

Men frequently see this as a command wherein they can assert their power and influence in the marriage. That most certainly does not result in a perfect marriage.

Sometimes, women see this verse as an impingement on there own sense of self, worth and independence.

This verse does not call for the subjugation of women and the unbridled empowerment of men. It is a verse that promotes order. A perfect marriage requires order. And submission is a necessary element of order.

The submission of the man

Does the man submit to the wife as well? Here is how this facet of submission is expressed:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)

When men love their wives as Christ loved the church, it means they are willing to give up their comfort and preferences to express their love. It means that they sacrifice what they must to make their wives happy and fulfilled. They honor their wives’ ideas, thoughts, goals and aspirations. They listen to their wives.

The perfect marriage tapestry

What wife wouldn’t want to submit to a husband who takes seriously the mandate to love their wives as Christ loved the church? What husband wouldn’t find incredible joy in a wife that submits to him in this kind of relationship?

In a perfect marriage, there is the understanding that we are all different. We have different perspectives and experiences. We have different opinions, desires and expectations. Mutual submission works to open our understanding to one another.

In a perfect marriage, there is also the understanding that we all fall short of the ideal even when our desire is to perfectly express that ideal! We are human. That means we make mistakes and stumble and fall. Love and submission means we forgive, we apologize and we extend grace.

The challenge

Paul perfectly sums up this portion of God’s word:

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:33 (ESV)

Marriage is a sacred covenant and God provides us with a perfect blueprint for this intimate relationship. Asking God to enrich your marriage works when you are willing to do your part. So let love and submission hold hands and find the joy, peace and order of a beautiful and perfect marriage.