The Power of an Influential Relationship

A influential relationship is built on solid character and response to every circumstance of life. The results look something like this:

But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” Ruth 1:16-17 (ESV)

This familiar passage is used in many different contexts, but we want to see it in the context of the day and what led to such a high level of commitment.

The summary of what happened

Elimelech took his wife Naomi and their two sons, Mahlon and Chilion to Moab because of a famine. Mahlon and Chilion married. Then Elimelech died as wells as the two sons. This took place over a ten year span. Naomi set out to go home urging her daughters-in-law to return to their own people. Orpah returned; Ruth made the grand declaration of commitment to Naomi.

Why?

We see that this was no weak commitment – ‘may as well, I have no other place to go.’ In the years she had observed Naomi, she was powerfully impacted. Naomi’s response to their hardship had to have made a positive impression. The influential relationship with her mother-in-law had become so close as to affect Ruth’s own spiritual life, and became the only future she could imagine.

What did she say?

This was total commitment. She would live with Naomi forever, adopt her people and her God as her own; she would only be parted from Naomi by death but in her own death would be reunited in a common family grave. There is no reservation – nothing held back.

The question for us today is: do our lives have that same influence over those we have relationships with?

Building an influential relationship

We start this process by following the counsel of scripture.

In Romans 12:9-18, we are given a list of instructions for healthy relationships: we are to have genuine love for one another, outdo one another in showing honor, contribute to the needs of the saints, show hospitality, bless those who persecute us, live in harmony with one another, associate with the lowly, do what is honorable is the sight of all and live peaceably with all.

In fact, the New testament is filled with lists of things we should be doing.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:12-17 (ESV)

We see here marks of character that lead to an influential relationship: compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, love.

In the context of church relationships we see the essentials of teaching, admonishing with wisdom, singing and doing everything in the name of Jesus. This is a remarkable passage!

Galatians 5:16-26 tells us to avoid things that destroy relationships and instead focus on living in step with the spirit.

Danger signs are things that destroy relationships: enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger. Rivalries, dissensions, divisions and envy.

Instead, we must be in step with the Spirit so the fruit of the Spirit overflows from our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. All of these help develop the character necessary to have an influential relationship.

Your Turn

Spend some time on your own studying passages like the Sermon on the Mount to discover more powerful ways that God can help you have a positive influential relationship with those who are around you.

And continue to follow us as we journey through the Bible in one year. Here are this week’s reading and prompts.

Weekly Reading:  Judges 20-21, Ruth, 1 Samuel 1-14 – break this down in daily readings that fit your schedule

Key points:

• Notice how Jabesh-Gilead saves the tribe of Benjamin, in Judges 21, then Saul, of the tribe of Benjamin, saves Jabesh-Gilead many years later in 1 Samuel 11.
• God accommodated the people of Israel when they asked for a king, even though it was against his expressed will. Yet, he was faithful to them and promised continued blessing if they and their king would be faithful and obedient.

Questions for consideration:

1. Samuel was the last judge of the people of Israel. Based on the writings in Judges and 1 Samuel, what are some of the things that set him apart from previous judges?
2. Tragedy struck Naomi’s family. After being displaced and losing her husband and son, she returned home. What does Ruth’s response to all of this tell you about how Naomi lived despite her circumstances?
3. Naomi, Ruth and Hannah were all instrumental in God’s plan for his people. In this highly patriarchal society, what does this tell us about how God works? What are some the similarities and differences between these women and how God used them?
4. How would you describe Saul’s character and attitude before he was anointed and in the first few years of his reign?